Thoughts from Our Bridge Pastor
Rev. Barbara K. Peronteau
Thoughts from the Pastor…
Saturday, November 20 is Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR). Together, along with another woman, I’ve been asked to share my thoughts about what it means to be Resilient at a TDOR event at the East County Shared Ministry in Pittsburg. The event begins at 7:00 pm. You are invited.
As I think about what I am going to say about resilience, the first thought is that everyone could hear some good news about bouncing back from hardships. So, I thought I’d share my thoughts with you.
Lesson number one about resilience is to make a list of all your goals. Write them down. In your mind’s eye who is it that you are and who is it you want to be? I’m sure your vision is to be the most wonderful, authentic, brave, courageous, lovely, beautiful, handsome, awesome, fabulous, beloved, blessed, sacred, talented, skilled, intelligent, self-aware, and caring person you can be. Who wouldn’t, right? Ask yourself what is it you need to do to be the person you want to be? A new job? More education? Move? Health care? A roof over your head? Hair, makeup, wardrobe? Write down all your goals. The purpose of having goals is that when life goes all kerflooey and we find ourselves bouncing off the road somewhere that list of goals becomes a roadmap helping us to find our way back. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.”
Lesson number two is - there is loss. I wish someone had told me this. There will be loss. Gone is the job, the relationships, the friends and family, the house, maybe the car, the dog, and the goldfish. Gone is the income, the health insurance, and your social support network. The pillars that once held up our existence may vanish. Loss becomes very real. This is when that roadmap of goals comes in handy. You’ll be able to find your way back.
Lesson number three: Ironically, in spite of all that I have lost, I have never been happier. You get to be you! Be your authentic self because being who you are is the thrill of a lifetime.
Lesson number four was easy for me. It is difficult for a lot of people though, no matter what they might be going through. Know the difference between God’s love and what other people tell you about how God hates you, or is punishing you, or how God is doing this, that, and the other thing. It’s not true, It’s not God. God loves you. Whatever is happening is a consequence of multiple events and choices, yours and others, all coming to roost all at the same time. God is the one getting you through all this. Feel the empowerment. Don’t let anyone squash your dreams. They are your dreams. Don’t let anyone take them away from you by talking trash.
Lesson number five: There will be those days when you find yourself in what feels like a box canyon and you can’t seem to find your way out. It’s deep, dark, and depressing. Oddly, depression might be the only connection to any sort of feeling at all. It’s like when your tooth hurts and you push against it. The more pain, the better. Life has become thick, heavy, and overwhelming. A sobering thought comes to mind as you find yourself peering over the edge of the dark abyss. What if I weren’t here? Would anyone notice? Would anyone care? What if I took all these pills? In that moment think about how much life needs you as much as you need life. Lesson number five? This too shall pass. This life, this world, needs you. It needs your energy, your love, and your light. Just ride it out. There are times life absolutely sucks. It hurts. It seems way too heavy to bear. I know, but it doesn’t last. The thing is, there are 30,000 more tomorrows just waiting for you. Keep your eyes on your goals.
Lesson number six. You will discover an inner strength you never knew you had. This one is huge. Personally, I never saw it coming. Each of us has an inner strength waiting to be discovered. Own it. Along the way, people would comment about my courage. “You’re courageous,” people would say. “You’re brave,” said others. Frankly, it didn’t seem like it at the time. It simply felt like I was putting one foot in front of the other just trying to be me. People will notice your courageous bravery much sooner than you will. Along the way, that inner strength you never knew you had will become obvious to you too. Own your courage.
Lesson number seven: The number one person whose approval you need is yours. This life is your journey, and you are your own best friend. It’s great when other people love you and support you. Celebrate and give thanks for that love and support. Truth be told, you’ll need that too. But when that doesn’t happen, and push comes to shove, remember the number one person you need in your corner is you.
This moment, every moment, is a learning moment. There are strengths, gifts, skills, and talents each of us has that can only be forged and discovered in times of difficulty. Allow each moment to be that resilient moment as you become your wonderful, authentic, brave, courageous, lovely, beautiful, handsome, awesome, fabulous, beloved, blessed, sacred, talented, skilled, intelligent, self-aware, caring, and resilient self.
Again, Ralph Waldo Emerson: “To be yourself in a world that is continually trying to make you something else, is the greatest accomplishment.”
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
~ Pastor Barbara